Agency/Client Relations (3 of 5): It's you, not me!
Wow, that escalated quickly.
As we're tracking the relationship lifecycle, we have to agree that the "In a Relationship" stage lasted for... some period of time. Not forever, but long enough that both you and the agency produced some great work. Work you're proud of. Maybe won an award together, or two.
And yet... here we are.
Blame, responsibility and accountability...
There is a pivot point during this stage where it can go either way. But, here's how it usually goes down... One side or other other makes a pretty egregious misstep. Not a fatal one, but something that generates a "sit down." You know the message, in your personal life. Someone tells you "we need to talk."
Rarely does that end well. More often, you bring every defensive and offensive tool in your personality, quietly tucked in your bag. Even if you plan to listen and try to be open minded, the bag is bulging.
But, it can still turn around. You can recover from this! Promises are made, investigations are launched and safeguards are put in place better and stronger than before.
You've heard this story... Do people change? Not really. But, like some people, they can grow. And that's the best you can hope for. Neither organization will suddenly be different. But, maybe each can learn from this and be better? A little better?
That's how this goes when it goes well.
When it goes poorly, both sides secretly blame the other, make justifications and spawn a bitter vitriol of resentment. It's more common than we may want to believe. It's tough to be humble when you're livelihood and reputation depends on it. So, we blame. It wasn't us, it was them, the timing, the budget, the crisis...
It's unhelpful. But, truth be told, you probably are done with each other anyway. Once you breach trust or faith, you are on the downward spiral. Nerves are tender. Feelers are up.
The best situation is one of personal accountability, assessment and truth. Maybe you really do have work to do on yourself. Will you do it? Can you do it? Are you honest enough with yourself? Or... will you just repeat the dance. Tough call.
This is a sucky time. Not only is there a sense of guilt and anger, but it is matched in equal parts with nervousness and anxiety.
Be honest... What really happened and what will you really do?
Reflection. This is where the true mismatch often comes out. What seemed like a great fit turns out to be really poorly aligned. You don't operate the same, you don't value the same, you don't handle conflict the same. Be honest to yourself and own the consequences.
Honesty. Funny, how this keeps coming up again and again. If you really aren't going to change, don't. Own it. Sometimes it's not you or me, it's us together. You might really like your agency the way it is. If you're the client, you might have processes that you have to adhere to. You're gonna have to own that too, and be truthful about what you will and won't do. Do NOT blame someone else for not meeting your expectation unless you were super clear.
Be the Adult. This is the worst. Someone will need to step up and call it what it is. We're done together and we still really value what you've done for us. Holding those two ideas at the same time is hard on both. The agency loses revenue but the client loses all the intellectual time spent educating and has to start all over again. Stop thinking as winners or losers and start thinking as winners AND losers. There isn't an invisible scale where one group gets the better of the other.
Respect. This is so hard to maintain when someone lets you down. But there is no loss in offering true, genuine respect at this stage. We're moving away, but we can do so in a humane, courteous way that lets us have good will, in time. Ya... this one is hard.
There is almost never a circumstance where a debacle is one-sided. Someone took their eye off the ball, failed to communicate, failed to listen, misinterpreted... Bottom line, it's a shared issue. You can blame the other, but odds are, you contributed. So, be the adult. Be open, honest and say what you intend. Offer your perspective in a respectful way knowing full well it's your exit speech. How do you want to be remembered? 'Cause this will be the lasting memory!
Think about that a bit.
You're going to get here. You're going to blame. Take a breath, and be thoughtful and respectful. What comes next? We are done, stop calling.